the annie blog

I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight. I am WAY tired. Sometimes I just need to get to bed early once in awhile. I have always been a good sleeper and napper. Well, actually, college is what helped me build that talent.

We, my roommate and I, would plan our classes in order to sleep in late and have an afternoon nap. I do know that my first semester of college I took an 8:00 class – I must’ve had “freshman” written all over my forehead. But then I caught on. I had classes at 10:00 and made sure to schedule lunch – that was a social occasion. Then we would all head back to our dorm room – I don’t know how our room got designated the afternoon TV room, but it was fine with us. A group of us would pile in our room to watch General Hospital at 2:00 every day. Then as soon as it was over, everyone went back to their rooms for naps. We all set our alarms for 5:00. Then we would get up and “get ready” to go to dinner. This involved changing clothes, doing our hair, primping and trying to look good – because you never knew who you would run into at the caf. We all had dinner every night at 6:00. We stayed in the caf for at least an hour – gossiping, visiting, flirting, goofing off, making plans, all the important stuff you do in college. I don’t think homework got started till 8:00, then we always stopped at 10:00. Then we got ready, once again, to go out and party someplace. We almost always left around 11:00 to go to a bar, a friend’s house, a frat house, go cruising, party in another dorm – just goofing off once again. I know we came home around 2 or 3, then would head to bed. It wasn’t so bad because we could sleep till 9:30, or even later if we skipped classes. I just know it was fun.

I really enjoyed living in the dorms. I met so many people I wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise. We had so much fun together. There’s some rite of passage about having to share bathrooms with strangers. It’s not fun, but we sure HAD fun. I did my share of partying in college, but I also got good grades and worked hard on stuff. I had awesome friendships and had experiences that helped me grow as a person. I feel horrible for some of our students that are so homesick they end up going home within the first month, or the kids that just flunk out – college is work, but it can also be a blast. I know it’s not for everyone, but I see plenty of kids that are too scared and leave before they are even challenged. It’s sad for them.

But, just because my whole college experience was awesome doesn’t mean everyone has awesome experiences. I know that. I just wish everyone could have as wonderful a time as I did.

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I think I’m probably gonna drug myself up with some Mid*ol and head to bed early tonight. I will probably lounge around and read or just turn off the light and call it an early night.

This day has kind of flown by. I was at work from 11:00 till 3:00. That’s a long day for someone who isn’t working this summer. We had meetings. I created more work for myself by volunteering to do some stuff, but I already got it done, so no biggie. It’s funny when the day just whizzes by. It seems like it should be almost midnight or something.

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I read a lot, and I always have. I have been a “reading machine” this summer so far. Which is good. I want to. Sometimes I slack off on my reading, and then I find myself watching the dreaded television set. Horrors! I have always been a reader. I read most anything, or at least attempt to read it.

I know why I became a reader. It’s because of my father. I suppose if I had to describe my father while I was growing up I would say something like, “he worked, came home for dinner, then read.” Which is true. That’s about all he did. Once dinner was over, he headed to the family room and read till bedtime. He read tons of stuff. Everything. He would start with the newspaper and read it cover to cover. Ok, all of it but the sports section. Then he’d pick up a book and read. He was at the library all the time. He was never without a book. My brother and I could run circles around him, and he wouldn’t even notice us. I can remember just staring at him sometimes. I wondered what was so fascinating about that book, why would he pay attention to that, and not to anything else in the house?

We often times went to the library with my dad. I would pick out some lame little kids books. He would roll his eyes sometimes at my choices. This was when I was about second grade or so. One day he said something like, “why don’t you read something good like Little House on the Prairie or something?” I had no idea what that book was. So he took me over to the shelf and showed me this whole series of books. They looked big to me. But, I thought I should listen to him. I mean, I guess I was reading stupid books according to him. I brought it home and devoured it. Well, devoured it as quickly as a little kid can. My dad kept asking me if I liked it, and wanted to know what part I was on. We were talking. Carrying on a conversation. Guess what I learned? Read a book and you’ll get to talk with your dad. So, I read.

When I finished all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, I asked for more. He directed me towards Louisa May Alcott, Mark Twain and others. We would talk about each and every book. He had numerous books on his bookshelf, and I had decided at the tender age of 12 that I needed to give up my library books and start reading books off his shelf. I picked out one that looked short, it was called The Great Gatsby. I asked him if I could read it. He was a little hesitant just because I was a little young, but then he got all excited and wanted me to read it. I loved it. I felt like such an important and smart person. I started to read more stuff of his shelves – Hemingway, Austen, Faulkner, Bronte – anything I could get my hands on.

We had this amazing relationship revolving around books. I loved it so much, it was something no one else in the family had with him. Today we still talk about books – we talk rarely, but after we catch each other up on what’s happening in our lives, we have long pauses. Inevitably we start talking about what we’ve been reading. We compare, suggest, and make comments about our literary choices. Then we hang up.

I know why I started reading, but I know why I continue to do so. Not for him so much anymore. But for me. It’s become part of who I am and what I do. Books are many things for me, and one of those things is a connection to my dad. I think about him often when I pick up a book. I wonder if he’s read it, what his thoughts are on it, did he like it? We have very different tastes in literature, but we can appreciate a good book regardless. I wonder if he thinks of me when he grabs a book off the shelf? I wonder if he knows why I became a reader? I wonder…

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I had to go into work today because the college is in the process of hiring a new president and they had an open forum for this candidate. You can imagine what a huge task it is to find a president. So, each candidate gets to spend an hour with faculty and staff answering questions. Today was our second one. It got me thinking about the whole interview process – which I hate, by the way.

I think I interview poorly, I tend to over-compensate, or make too many jokes. Not out of nerves, it’s just that I make jokes. So I kind of feel peculiar being on the other side of the table. I’ve been on search committees before and really feel out of place. I wonder, while I’m on the other side of the table, what makes me so special that this person has to “prove” themselves to me? Me? Plain old me? I’m actually on a search committee for our marketing person too. Our first meeting is tomorrow. I feel so much for the people interviewing. I try to send them positive vibes and give them eye-contact and positive facial expressions while actively listening to them. Some people, just glare at the candidates – I hate that! I wonder why? Feeling of power? Which is a shame, because if we truly want the person to work for us, shouldn’t we show our best side? And not our mean, gruff, “show me whatchya got” side? I think the interview process is a tad messed up. I know not every place interviews like we do, but there has to be a better, more relaxed way. Hell, I get stressed out for the person interviewing. I’m probably sweating more than they are.

On another note, JD, our baby girl (ok, she’s really a kitty, but…) had this weepy eye yesterday. It was scaring me. Her third eyelid was all red and irritated. It actually started running on Saturday, but yesterday the poor little thing had a constant stream of tears running from her one eye. So, this morning, I called the vet and made an appointment – and the babies eye is all better now! I think it was allergies. I looked up stuff online and she really had no other symptoms. I’m just so thankful she’s better now. I get way stressed when she’s sick. She is 16 afterall, but she’s still our little baby.

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Today I’m doing laundry. I have a rule that says I cannot bitch about doing laundry. I decided that rule many years ago. The first time I ever did laundry was my freshman year at college. Until that time I had no idea how to turn on a machine, what it meant to seperate colors, or how to measure detergent. (Ok, I was slightly spoiled in that regard) I was in the dorms and traveled to the basement with my fellow roomies and we would do laundry together. It was an event, it was fun. When I moved to off-campus housing I had the same thing – head to the basement and wash your clothes. I finally got my own apartment my senior year and guess what – same thing – machines in the basement.

It wasn’t until grad school that I discovered the horrors of the laundromat. I was in an apartment with NO machines. That meant I had to go to the laundromat for the first time in my life. I hated it. I dreaded dragging everything out to my car and then making multiple trips back and forth. I also hated having people stand there and watch me fold my undies and stuff. Ewww! That nightmare lasted for two years. Upon graduation we moved into our first apartment together and had a machine in the basement. Glory Days! But then we moved…

Mark got the job here. The pay was ok. I wasn’t working at the time, and we were mighty over-extended. Student loans were due, and those things damn near killed us. We got an apartment that had hook-up for washer and dryer – but no washer and dryer. Which meant, I was back at the laundromat. We only had one car at the time. It was rather pathetic actually. Here I am, the wife of a professor at the college, doing laundry with the kids my husband teaches. I despised it. I finally got hired on as an adjunct prof. That helped us financially, but we still couldn’t afford a washer and dryer. So, there I was – washing my unmentionables in front of my students. Boy, did I feel great, or what? That’ll wipe out any self-esteem you may have had.

There was a time when I was getting up at 7am on a Saturday morning to go do laundry in hopes of NOT running into anyone I knew. I was driving to the laundromat, and I think I had tears in my eyes even, I vowed that if we EVER got a washer and dryer I would never, ever bitch about laundry again.

Our wedding present from my father – a washer and dryer. We would’ve gotten married sooner if we would’ve known that. I was in love with it. I could do laundry any time of the day or night. Even if it was all icky and raining or snowing outside. I could quickly wash something all by itself even. I washed things that hadn’t been washed in years in our house – comforters, drapes, blankets – tons of things. I was clean!

I haven’t broken my promise either. I don’t bitch about it. I just do it. I will never ever bitch about it. Now, cleaning the toilets – that’s another story…

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I’m not sure how I’m going to finish up the night. I, of course, have tons of things that could be done, but I need to figure out what I want to do. I think I want to work on some homework. It’s not hard work, just tedious at times. I don’t really mind though. I just love learning stuff, and always have. I used to cry when school was cancelled because of a snow day – dork! The odd part is that it never occurred to me to teach until I was in grad school.

I remember once my dad saying, “Those who can’t, teach.” – we were in the car heading to a college for a visit – I was a senior in high school. I kept talking about how I wanted to do something in theatre or English or lit – my parents wanted pre-med. So when he asked me what I would do with those degrees, I didn’t have an answer – I was 17! So I said, “I don’t know… teach?” Then he made his comment. I remember scooting back in my seat and thinking about that. Was that true? I had never had that before – so all my teachers in high school were just frustrated historians, sociologists, accountants and actors that couldn’t make it in their field and had to teach because that’s all they could do?? I couldn’t believe it. (Note: I was raised in a very Catholic household – very strict, and incredibly naive. Whatever my parents said was gold. I didn’t know it was possible for them to even be wrong.) So, I knew I didn’t want to say that I would teach because that would mean that I failed in my chosen career. Well, guess what – I majored in pre-med with a theatre minor. Odd combo, but it made everyone happy for awhile.

I stayed a pre-med major my first year. I learned a lot that year! I learned I could declare a different major and didn’t have to run it by parents. They had always told me that all paperwork must come to them first. (odd how they knew so much about college when neither one of them ever went to college themselves)

So, my sophomore year I declared theatre with an emphasis in performance and dropped my bio and chem classes. They, of course, asked about my schedule and I told them that this semester I was focusing on theatre, and would pick up more med classes second semester. Ok, I was terribly afraid of them. They controlled everything. They paid for everything and kept me from being in the poorhouse like lots of my friends. I finally got enough nerve over Christmas break my sophomore year to tell them I switched majors. My dad just shook his head and looked down. My mom looked nervous and scared. I didn’t care. I was starting to find out who I was and I liked my new-found freedom and independence. I also LOVED theatre – the people, the teachers. For once in my life I felt like I truly belonged. I know theatre people have an odd reputation, but they welcomed me more than anyone had ever welcomed me my whole life. I knew I made the right choice.

So, I continued my education and knew I was going to go to grad school. There was no doubt about it. Finally in grad school, at the end of my first semester. I had a breakthrough. I realized I wouldn’t mind teaching. I was a TA and loved it! I loved being in school. Plus, I had this wonderful teacher that kind of nailed it for me. She was so difficult – I actually cried once in her class. She taught me more than most people. I respected the hell out of her. I got to know her and she talked about how when you’re a teacher you have to keep learning – it never stops. Every day, you learn. I knew then. That’s the life for me.

So, here I am. Doing what I love. I adore learning. I love the challenge. I try and remember what it was like to be a college student. The late nights, the hangovers, the procrastination, the homesickness – I think if you ever forget what they’re going through you don’t become as effective of a teacher. I want to understand them. I don’t judge them if they don’t do an assignment, or bomb a test. Hell, we all did that, didn’t we? I want them to know that they make their choices. They can ask my advice, but ultimately it’s up to them. They have to take responsibility and made their own decisions. It’s part of life. I don’t judge them, my job is to enlighten them and make them aware of what’s out there.

I’m glad that other job for Mark didn’t pan-out. I would seriously miss teaching too much. Don’t get me wrong – my summers rock! But I do love being in the classroom. So, what does my dad say now? Not much. I think he’s proud, but I think he still wants more. That’s a whole other issue in itself. No time right now. But I have a sweatshirt that says, “Those who can, do. Those who can do more, teach.” I like that.

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We went to see The Stepford Wives this afternoon. It was just ok – nothing great. But the whole idea is something that I entertain once in awhile. Not that I want to live in the 50’s or give up my independence – but just hear me out. Because I don’t work during the summer I end up thinking about this a lot actually.

What if it was like the 50’s again? But with all the modern conveniences. I would stay at home and have so much more time to clean, and I’d gladly have supper on the table every night. Right now – when I’m working during the year – I’m coming home and thinking of all the things that need to happen that night – vacuum, pay bills, make dinner, change the litter box, etc…. When I’m at home during the summers I get everything done – my house is the cleanest during the summer. Everything is caught up. I LOVE cooking dinner for Mark – or even with him if he gets home early enough. It makes me happy to surprise him with whatever I’m cooking that night. We actually have time during the summer to sit down together and eat. We have long dinners. We eat, make some coffee, hang out and visit for a couple of hours. During the regular work day – I have no time for that. I’m looking for quick dinners, or thinking about running out and eating and then getting home to start cleaning and stuff. Not that I want to wear dresses all day and “obey” my husband, but that kind of Stepford life does have something going for it.

Since I’m always cooking new recipes during the summer, I love going to the grocery store to get my ingredients and picking out fresh veggies and stuff. I can take my time. I like running errands very leisurely. During work – I’m doing stuff on my lunch hour and trying to stuff food in my mouth at the same time. Things sure were different back then. I don’t think I’d mind it very much if that indeed was my life. I would clean, cook, craft, read, write, everything I do during the summer anyway. Less stress!!! I still feel like someone, I don’t mind staying at home. I get tons of stuff done! I have no problem with doing all the cleaning (I do it all anyway) and all the cooking. If I wasn’t working, I would gladly do all that.

Just a thought…

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b>1] Have you ever seen or met a world leader [or a high-ranking government official] in person? When and where? What was the experience like?
Yes! Mark and I got to see Bill Clinton while he was running for pres! We love him! He was running in some race in Kansas City to raise money for something. So, Mark and I got up at the crack of dawn and got right behind the ropes. We waited for hours. Finally he pulled up and when he came over to the crowd Mark got to shake his hand and get an autograph! I was taking pictures the whole time so I didn’t get to touch him. I have pictures of him shaking Mark’s hand, and of him signing our autograph. We were on cloud nine. We got the pictures developed at a one hour place and proceeded to run around town and show everyone. It was awesome!

2] Have you ever had the desire to run for a public/political office? Why/why not?
Absolutely NOT! I love politics – I enjoy reading about it and watching it on TV. But I guess it’s like football – I love watching it, but I do NOT want to play it.

3] Who do you feel has been the most memorable world leader so far? Why?
I think JFK or Martin Luther King Jr. Our nation was in such a chaotic state – both of those deaths were shocking to us. Even though I wasn’t around – I find it appalling today. They both are my personal heroes.

4] What, if anything, would you most like to improve about your country?
Sometimes I get frustrated that we think of ourselves as the world police or something. We have so many problems in our own backyard that seem to get ignored. I am appreciative of the young men and women fighting right now, but wouldn’t all that money be better used for illiteracy programs here, educational programs, job training, drug abuse prevention – stuff like that? I get so frustrated at the amount of money we spend doing other things and we barely have money for things over here that we need. Why is that? I just don’t understand that logic.

5] What are your thoughts about the recent passing of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan?
I think it’s very sad. HOWEVER — I do not think it’s right to have an official day of mourning. We have never had one for a pres before, so why are we starting now? Will we have one when Bill Clinton dies? I bet not. To me, that seems wrong. Either do it for all, or for none. Nixon didn’t get a day of mourning. Now, I know those are different circumstances – but he was still an ex-president just like Ronnie. I am also amazed at the amount of coverage the media has given this. I think he was a great man, but not so great a pres (This is my extremely liberal side speaking now). There are many things the man did/didn’t do that we’re still paying for now. Arms to Iraq perhaps??? He was estranged from his first wife (by his choice) and barely spoke to his children – especially his gay son. Now, is that something to be admired? We seem to be forgetting that a family man he was not – he loved Nancy, but who else? I just don’t get it, and we will NOT be watching any of the events today at the Frank house. I think it’s gone a little too far. The man’s been dead for a week – just bury him and get it over with – isn’t he stinking by now?

That’s my Friday Forum for today.

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Which is better …

1] Iced tea, iced coffee, or ice water?
Iced tea – duh!

2] A beach house, a mountain cabin, or a quaint bed and breakfast?
Oddly enough, I’d say a mountain cabin. But it has to have running water and electricity! I would want that because it would be beautiful and even though I figure we’d be away from civilization – there would be so much to do. I’d play nature girl and have so much fun. I’d also write and read – what a perfect setting!

3] Relaxing on the porch, relaxing in a hammock, or relaxing by a pool?
Porch! Our porch – our screened in porch! It’s the best – secluded and beautiful!

4] Lemonade, lemon meringue pie, or lemon poundcake with berries?
Lemon pound cake with berries baby! There’s this one coffee shop we go to all the time and they have this awesome lemon pound cake I get when they happen to have it – I must get a slice.

5] A Wendy’s Frosty, a McDonalds hot fudge sundae, or a Dairy Queen Blizzard?
I guess a Frosty, though I never get any of the above for some reason.

6] Sandals, flip flops, or bare feet?
Bare feet. I kick off my shoes all the time. Even at work. I hate wearing shoes!

7] Concerts in the park, Shakespeare in the park, or just strolling through the park?
Shakespeare!!! I don’t care which show it is, but I do care which translation they’re using. Mark and I could probably recite along with them.

8] A two-week vacation, vacation days here and there, or weekend getaways?
Probably weekend getaways. I mean, we’re lucky enough to be able to have all of the above, but if it was only one or the other – I’d pick weekends.

9] Camping, hiking, or boating?
Boating. I hate camping!!!! Not much into hiking. I get scared – can you say “city girl”

10] Picnics under the stars, picnics by a lake, or picnics in your backyard?
Picnic at night would scare me – I hate the dark. In our backyard, our neighbors would think it’s odd – so I’ll say lake.

Thank you to Lisanne for this.

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2004-06-10T15:04:52.550-05:00Ray Charles died. He was one of our faves. His song, “Singin’ My Song” is our song. So it’s a sad day at the Frank house.

Other than that, today has been fine. Again I have everything open and the breeze is blowing and it’s cloudy and cool. I am planning on heading out to the porch and reading till Mark gets home. Not sure what we’re doing tonight. Thursdays are kind of like our Fridays because we usually begin our “weekend” on Thursday nights.

I really can’t believe there’s no mail tomorrow – have they ever shut down government offices for a day of mourning for any other president’s death? Excluding JFK. I don’t think so. I know they didn’t for Nixon. And scores of other ex-presidents have died and we didn’t have such a big hoopla about them. Wonder what the difference is…?

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