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making my home a haven

I am!  I did not purchase a candle. I have so many candles that need to be used. So, I grabbed one and lit it.  I generally light when we’re all home – after school and before dinner.  Then I say;

Dear Lord, bless my family,

keep them happy, healthy

and at peace.

I say it all night long whenever I notice the candle. And, I’m mindful to make it count – I don’t want to just SAY the words, I want them to be heart-felt.

This has been a super thing for me to do.  No one in the home knows I’m doing it. It’s just a little gesture I can do to bless my family.

candle, candle in glass

candle, candle in glass (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

i love lamp

When I was little I would walk to and from school. I had neighbor kids to walk with. And, my brother of course. Normally it was no big deal. But, my mother hardly EVER picked us up. We walked in rain and snow.  I know, I know…

But, one of my favorite things was to come home on a crisp afternoon and she would have the lamp on in the living room. We hardly EVER used our living room. The living room was for company only.  So, that lamp wasn’t on very frequently.  But, it was a cozy room. Kind of small – lots of dark colors. But she would have the lamp on – it sat right in front of the big windows and the drapes would be pulled back. It gave off such a glow, I loved it.

I am still kind of in love with driving by people’s homes and seeing their drapes or blinds open with the glow of a lamp. Now, I’m not a big overhead light kind of girl. In fact, I had a friend over last night, and she asked me if we could even SEE with it being so dim. I like lamps.  Thank you Ron Burgandy.

But, today is one of those days. It’s cool out. It’s dark. It’s supposed to start raining later on. I will pick her up after school and then she and I will come home. I will turn on some lamps. It will be cozy inside. It will be warm. She and I will share a snack. I may make some tea or hot chocolate. And there will be the soft glow of a lamp. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.

And guess what? My little one is the exact same. She loves things cozy. She likes to snuggle, she likes to sip warm drinks, she loves the fireplace – and I love her for that.  I love how each season defines my family. During the fall, we like the cozy things. During the summer we are a pool/lake family.  But, most importantly – we are a family.

Tonight, we will gather around a lamp and make memories.

And this is why I love my family! We went out-of-town this weekend. We took a bit of a three-day weekend. We spent time with family. It really is great to be together with them all. It renews my spirit and puts a smile on face.

Most importantly, the kiddos has a blast. That’s all that matters. This whole – putting your kids first thing – is amazing. I get so much pleasure from watching them smile and giggle. They are cousins. They love and adore each other. They are forever holding hands, hugging, kissing, giggling, sitting by each other and telling secrets. That’s good. They’re both only children. Well, being raised as only children, I should say. So, this interaction is important. This is really all the wee one has to interact with as far as family is concerned. That’s why it’s important. We also Skype a lot – more so during the cooler months. We can’t go outside, so we Skype. Inside can get awful boring once in a while.

We got back in town yesterday around lunch time. We got up early! But, it was worth it. I worked all day – unpacking, laundry, getting things ready for the week, grocery shopping – you name it! The hubby patched up a wall and did some painting in the dining room. It was a full day.

And, today is Monday – for that I am thankful. I know I’m in the minority, but i really like Mondays. I just love accomplishing things. The wee one is outside playing, so that’s a blessing. She will be home soon. She and I are on our own tonight. It’s Homecoming week at the college, and the hubby is busy with activities. So, she and I will scrounge up something for dinner. She has some leftovers, and I will find something. No worries. She and I are going to attempt to bake cookies tonight, and we want to decorate the front yard with pumpkins!

it still stings

I does sting a little bit.  I must admit. I really don’t want to sound selfish. Please realize that I am utterly blessed beyond belief to have my little girl.

Yesterday, a friend and co-worker announced that she was pregnant. Very exciting! I cried.  Out of jealously.  I feel horrible for even saying this, but I was/am jealous.  I will never get to be pregnant. I will never experience what it’s like to tell my mom that I’m pregnant. I will never give birth. I will never get to take those pictures of my expanding belly and post them on facebook. I should not complain. I have a little girl. The most wonderful little girl EVER! We are beyond fortunate to have her. I thank the universe each and every day that she is officially ours. I kiss her and hold her, and cry  – to this day.  She is the single most amazing thing in my life.

Yet, I cried. I still feel sadness. It’s been about 12 years since I realized that I would never get pregnant. And it still stings.  The fact that it stings makes me feel horribly guilty.  I should be thankful for what I have. But, alas, I am human. And it stings.


So, it’s summer around here.  The pool is open. I am enjoying my afternoons. I am happy!

What am I crafting?

Well, I am currently knitting the Belinda shawl from Mason-Dixon:  Knitting Outside the Lines

I am using Elann Peruvian Baby Lace Merino in the colorway Ruby.  So far, so good.

I also signed up for the Pan Am Jacket KAL at Knitting Daily.  I am anxiously awaiting my yarn in the mail. I ordered some Cascade 220 in the colorway River Rock.  I need to get it and start swatching!

I am reading the first book of Game of Thrones. I have watched the first season and am waiting to watch the second season until I finish the last 100 pages of the book.

I am still keeping up with new recipes every week.  I am keeping the house extra tidy.  I am on top of things and it feels great!

making beds

When I was growing up, we always made our beds. No questions asked.  Beds were made. Every day. Holidays. No matter what.

Well, then I went to live in a dorm in college. And I didn’t make my bed. Oh, maybe I would pull the comforter up if the sheets were super dirty and we had cute boys in the room.  But, basically, I can’t remember anyone making their beds.  My roommates never did.  I didn’t care. I also think I really MADE my bed when my folks would come to visit.  I think I just pulled the comforter up and tossed the pillows to one end.

Then I finally moved into my own apartments for the rest of my undergrad and graduate schooling. Again, no bed making. None.  Ever. At this point I didn’t even “tidy up” for visitors. I mean, it was an apartment, we basically stayed in the living room, so I didn’t even bother pulling up the comforter.

Then, hubby and I moved in to our apartments together. No bed-making.  When people came over, we didn’t care. Even when family visited. They weren’t hanging out in our bedroom, so no biggie. Besides, why made the bed when we were still in the napping phase leftover from college.

Then we bought a home. Then we became parents.  And now, we still don’t make the beds. None of us.  I’ve never had her make her bed. When I chang ethe sheets every week, I kind of pull up the quilts and comforters and call it good.  So, that happens once a week.  And, it’s not really MAKING the bed, it’s just pulling up the sheets. In fact, hubby and I are still in the napping phase leftover from college. Even though we graduated from college some twenty -(cough, cough) years ago.  We still like to nap. The wee one, not so much. But, damn, hubby and I can rock a nap with the best of them. Anyway, we don’t make our beds. And we don’t care.

half birthday

Today is my half birthday. In our house, that means it’s time for a celebration. We have always celebrated our half birthdays around here. Even before the wee one arrived.  We still continue that tradition.  She thinks it’s so normal. She assumes everyone celebrates theirs as well. It’s very confusing to her when people don’t comprehend the concept of a half birthday celebrations.  I love that about her.

Today was my celebration though. We went to lunch where I wanted to go.  We picked up an to-go order so we could have a yummy dinner at home later tonight.  We grabbed some coffee. We ran some errands. No gifts, we normally don’t. We just have a day for the birthday person. I have had a lovely day. I am pleased.

girls only

When the wee one woke up today I informed her that tonight was going to be a girl’s night for us. She commented that we almost always have pancakes on girls night. Tis true.  We;ll see if she remembers that or not.

Hubby is out-of-town tonight, so she and I are going to watch a movie and do “girly” things. I’m sure some sort of facial mask and copious amounts of lotion will be involved.  Oh, and nail polish. There will most definitely be nail polish.  I like girls nights with her.  We have fun.  We get cozy. We drink hot chocolate. We eat popcorn and watch movies. We snuggle.

I really don’t think I had those times with my mom.  At least I can’t really remember any.  I probably had more girls nights with my little brother.  He was, and still is, incredibly patient and easy-going. Thank God for that.

But tonight, our night will really be about girls.  No boys allowed. And that’s good once in a while.