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Well, I just did a major boo-boo. I was working on my Valentine’s cards, and had my pillar candle lit on the coffee table in front of me. The candle was on its last legs. Barely holding up. I keep my eye on it because it’s almost overflowed once before. So, about 15 minutes later I get up and walk to the trash. I’m now on the other side of the coffee table and wax is running off the table and collecting in a big pool on the rug. Our 2 week old brand new are rug! I blow out the flames and try to prevent the wax from running off the table any more. I put my hand under the table and collect the rest of the wax in my hand. I have no idea how people into S&M can stand having wax on their body. I burnt the shit out of my hand! So I run to the kitchen while I’m leaving a trail of wax behind me. By this time, it doesn’t even look like a candle anymore. It’s become this big mushy puddle dripping off the candle stand I use for it. I decide to scrape the wax off the kitchen linoleum first. Then I tackle the coffee table – the mahogany coffee table! I get that taken care of, then I start searching for my bottle of Wax Away. I have a wax problem obviously, so I use Wax Away all the time. It’s the best damn product out there. I scrub and let it soak for about 15 minutes. By this time I think I’m gonna get it as best I can. So, the rug is a sage green with beige speckles, and the wax is bright burgandy! It’s still very obvious. Can you say decorating challenge? Mark isn’t home right now – I’m sure he’ll laugh at me.

Let me talk about our hat that I’ll be wearing when he walks in. We have tons of little things we do – as do most couples. One of the many oddities is the Naughty Bowler. It’s an old time black bowler hat. We leave it hanging off the back post of a side chair in our family room. When one of us has done something “naughty” (hey guys, don’t go there, I’m not talking sex….) I’m talking naughty like dripping wax all over our new rug. Then the person wears the hat and doesn’t have to say a word. So, as soon as I hear the garage door open I’ll grab the hat and put it on my head. When he walks in and sees me, all he has to do it look at me and he will know something’s up. But the really bad thing is that I’ve already worn the naughty bowler earlier today! I break things all the damn time. I was printing something, and the printer jammed and I tried to yank the paper out and ripped it and got paper caught and while I was trying to get the paper out I yanked a piece of the printer off in my hand. WTF! So I let it stay there until Mark came home, at which time I had the bowler promptly on the top of my head. I can’t imagine how much he’ll crack up when he sees me with it on again today. Oh man, I’m never gonna hear the end of this…

Someday I’ll talk about the hats we have in the house – but for now, the only one that’s atop my head is that damn naughty bowler…

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