the annie blog

We had such a nice time last night. A big group of us went for dinner and drinks to celebrate November birthdays. It was fun, yet not too crazy. I stopped drinking my Corona’s just in time – I quickly switched to coffee once I thought I was getting a little too tipsy.

Today marks the anniversary of the death of my kitty. If you think it’s strange that people cry over the loss of a pet – you should probably stop reading this now. I had Honkey for 13 years. Her sister, JD, is still with us, and she’s 16 now. Honkey was diagnosed with diabetes that August. We noticed she was using the litter box a lot, but she wasn’t going. At first the vet thought it was just a bladder infection so we gave her some pills – nothing happened. When we took her back the vet ran some tests and diagnosed with diabetes. I wasn’t too freaked out because I know tons of people with diabetes.

We had to give her insulin shots though. I had never done anything like that before – I’m a city girl. I hated watching Mark try and do it, so I had to learn for myself. We gave her shots twice a day. She started improving almost immediately! We were so happy. We switched her food and really monitored her all the time. Then she stopped going to the bathroom. When we took her in, she had lost some weight, but we really hadn’t noticed it. They said her diabetes was getting worse.

We spent many days at the vets trying to figure out how to manage her sugar levels. While we tried, she kept losing weight and slowly stopped eating. We never let her spend the night at the vets because we wanted to be with her. The weekend of November 11 and 12th of 2000 was our last weekend with her. She got worse overnight. I finally put her in the guest room on a blanket with a garbage bag under it. She had lost control of her bladder – but the urine was totally clear and odorless. We tried to get her to eat and drink – nothing. That Sunday I knew that we would have to go to the vets the next day. She was barely hanging on. I spent the day with her and told her how much I loved her and what she had meant to me. See, we can’t have children, and just the mere presence of our kitties made us feel like a mommy and daddy. That night I spent the night right beside her. The very first night I brought her home as a kitten I slept right beside her on the floor. The very last night of her life I slept right beside her. That comforted me.

The next day we took her to the vets and we knew what had to be done. The vet said that it would probably be best if we weren’t in the room when she gave her the shot. I regret that decision and ache to think of my baby dying all alone. We sadly went home and didn’t speak. I spent the night crying. I mean seriously sobbing – loud, drooling, anguished crying. I had never cried like that before. I took off work the next day because I was a zombie. That night we headed to the cemetery to make arrangements. We go out there at least once a month. We will go out there today. I will cry – as I’m doing now.

Our remaining kitty – JD had a tough time dealing with the loss. She knew something was up. It honestly took her about 3 months to settle down. They had been together each and every day of their lives. My kitties had never even been outside – so they didn’t even know about other cats. I still slip sometimes and say I have two babies, and I know in my heart I always will have two babies.

JD is healthy. Needless to say we watch her very carefully for diabetes. So far, so good. She is healthy and just as naughty as ever. For 16 she is one of the most playful babies I’ve ever seen. No one can believe she’s that old. I think it’s because Mark and I always made a point of playing with the kitties each and every day. We call it “play time” and we still do it today – so I think that’s why she’s still so frisky and kitten-like.

Today I will think about my baby and I will cry when I’m alone. I miss her dearly and miss so many things about her. She was one of the best babies in the world.

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