• Past Posts

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 6 other followers

Cherish

Image

Cherished:

I feel that I am cherish. Then I also wanted to think about the things that I cherish. For example, I think family is at the tippy-top of that list. I relish the times I can be home and with those people. They are my everything.

I rarely use the word “cherish” for some reason. To me, it means something that I hold VERY close and dear to me. Something that can not be replaced.  A very special thing. And, that’s my family.  They can’t be replaced. They are amazing.  I don’t treat them with kid-gloves or anything, we have our ups and downs, but my family is what I truly cherish.  I hold them close – literally and figuratively.

I also know they cherish me.  We cherish one another. Tonight, we have a lot of family planned. I am going to mention this word, and see how THEY define it. See what they cherish. I can learn so much from those people, it’s unreal.

I know I need to also cherish every day. I am guilty of NOT doing that. I forget. How horrible is that?  Things get in the way and I forget to CHERISH my day – my life – my existence. Unreal.  I am thankful and grateful – that I can do. But to really cherish- to hold my day close to my heart and hug it. That is something I  need to work on.

Without my day, my life – I have nothing.  Thank you God for this day, this life, and my family. I promise to hold it all dear to me. In your name I pray!

break

It’s time for me to have a break.  A serious break. that’s the beauty of education. Just as you’re ready to go mad – a break comes around. Mark and I are forever grateful for these breaks.  Right now, things have been mighty stressful at work. And we are going to relish this break more than  you can ever know.

With things being crazy, and even a bit scary at work, we haven’t told our families. The wee one hears snippets now and then, but nothing big. My mother would FREAK OUT. So, it’s best not to stress her out. My brother knows a little bit. He’s compassionate and understanding. My father knows nothing – that’s my choice.  So, Mark and I keep it to ourselves. We don’t even discuss it with co-workers – too risky.  The walls have ears if you know what I mean… And, we really don’t have any friends we discuss this stuff with, so we just deal with it amongst ourselves and count down the days till break.

Because of all this  – my mind is elsewhere. I’m easily distracted, and every now and then I turn a bit negative.

And this is not good.  So, I go play on pinterest and daydream…

venting

So, I need to vent a little bit. I’ve said it before, but we live FAR from our families. No one is near us – seriously.  And, we happen to live in a smaller town where everyone is related to everyone else. Consequently – we have no family events to attend over the holidays. And, people seem to think that since we don’t have family around that they just assume we do NOTHING. A co-worker just told us that we could do the extra work because we don’t have family events coming up and she does. She won’t have time, but she knows that since we don’t have family around we would be able to do the extra work load. And, this is NOT the first time this has happened. This happens almost every year. Someone says things like, “Well, you can probably work on that since you won’t have family in town. I can’t because my wife’s family will be here one weekend, then the next weekend we are hosting the party at our house for my family.”  Seriously!?! I get so frustrated hearing that. It’s not fair. And then it seems like our bosses always agree, “Well, since Joe has all these family activities it only seems logical you can do the extra work. ”

tired of it!

 

Roots

 

So, I remember when I was little and the TV mini-series, Roots was on. It was a HUGE deal. I didn’t get it.  My parents watched it. Things around our house stopped during those nights. My brother and I were “shushed” a lot!  It was just a TV show that bored me.  It wasn’t funny. I like sit-coms. This was NOT a sit-com. So, I didn’t pay attention.

In fact, I really didn’t pay attention to my roots at all growing up. I kind of just didn’t think about it. To me, now, the word “roots” symbolizes family. See, we lived far away from our family. Like four states away. We hardly ever saw anyone. And guess what – it’s kind of the same thing now.  Hubby and I live at least 4 hours away from any sense of family.  And then it’s only my brother and his little boy. We are spread around the country. So, I instill in my little girl the importance of family – the right here-right-now kind of family. The kind that matters!  We talk about family in our house all the time. We know how important this bond is.

We are sad that we can’t be around more family – and sometimes I get a little jealous. But, we must establish our own roots with just the three of us. With a big change looming, our roots are going to be even more important than ever before.

Last night we started our gratitude journals for the  month of November. The wee one wrote about family.

This is what having roots means to me. A love between us that anchors us to each other.

Look

Look:

I can think of “look, momma, look!”  All day long. I am asked to come and Look at something – a picture she drew, a bug she found, a commercial of something she wants, or even how her scrap of bread looks like a duck.  Look. And I do. Ok, not all the time, but I do. I am getting better. It never fails, though. That “Look” comes right when I’m in the middle of something. Right when I have things to finish. Right when I have things to start .

I need to stop. I need to look. I need to find what she finds fascinating. I need to understand that she finds it all amazing, and hopefully I will too. And, not just with her – with my husband.  He comes home from work and has things to share. I need to stop and LOOK at him too.

What about God?  I need  to stop and LOOK at him too. He shows me fascinating things every day. He says – LOOK, Bethanie, LOOK! And, sometimes I notice, and sometimes I don’t.  How sad is that?

I looked yesterday. I looked at the blue cloudless sky and I saw a lone bird flying so far up there it looked like a little moving speck. I saw what God placed in front of me.

I looked when Atlantis showed me some fabric scraps she found – she said they were pretty. I agreed. We decided to make doll clothes from them. We looked. Together. We looked.

I looked when my hubby came home from work with calloused hands. I looked. I loved. I appreciated.

Five Minute Friday

disbelief

Mark and I normally cuddle up on the couch and watch the 10:00 news together. Last night, he was working late. He had a recruiting trip. He didn’t get home until after 9:30. So, we ended up sitting on the couch and got caught up with our nights.  We missed the news.

Afterwards, I got on facebook.  I was scanning my newsfeed. I saw a news report about someone involved in a murder-suicide. It was our social worker. I gasped. I could barely spit out the words. Mark came over to peer over my shoulder.  We clicked on the links. It was her. Her husband had shot her and turned the gun on himself.

I cried. A lot.  I am still rather teary.  She was our social worker. She FOUND our daughter.  She was at the court hearing when we adopted our daughter. She has been to our home numerous times. She was an angel. Really – an angel.  She united us.  Without her – I don’t know if we all three would’ve found each other.  My mind cannot comprehend what’s going on.  I have so many questions. The injustice. The heartache. Her children!  Her children – her two little boys whom she ADORED!

I am distraught.

Scripture isn’t comforting right now. I am angry.

Fall is here

The wee one and I made cookies last night. They were ok. IF I make them again I would leave out the granulated sugar. The brown sugar and the syrup make them sweet enough.  The hubs doesn’t care for them. I think they’re only ok. The wee one likes them. And, here’s the kicker – she likes NOTHING. So, I think it’s a keeper of a recipe if she eats them. I mean, how else do I get oatmeal down her gullet?

Mark will be away again this evening. He is taking a group of students to a local high school production. Getting some recruiting out of the way.  She and I really don’t have much planned. I imagine crafting will be in order. I started her mermaid skirt last night, but I need to grab some more fabric from work tomorrow. So tonight – it will probably be knitting for the two of us.

She has choir after school, so that means she doesn’t come home till late. I went to the store and grabbed some stuff for sandwiches. I was kind of tempted to just suggest that we go out and eat. But, I’m really trying to NOT do that.  I’m proud that I went to the store!