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calm by my husband

(stumpy) christ of the ozarks

There are some pretty intense things going on at work. That means it’s intense for us. We work really hard to keep it all out of our home. We DO talk about it – it’s just not something we talk out loud in front of the wee one.

I am nervous about it.

The hubby isn’t.  I don’t know how he does it. But, he is headstrong and focused. I get stressed when he starts talking about all of it.  He’s seen this pattern, and consequently, he’s pulled back on it. Not that it’s a bad thing – I mean, who wants to sit around and talk about work all night long?  We want to have family time!

But, I am utterly calmed by him. With anything. Not just this. But, this is the pattern.  I stress. I go to him. He assures me.  Relief.  I know I’m supposed to put my faith in God and know that Christ will take care of everything. But, seriously, isn’t it normal to at least FEEL something. I mean, if we’re nervous or anxious, I think that’s ok. We can still KNOW that God is in control.  It’s like a roller coaster, right?  I can SEE the twists and turns. I know I am safe in my harness, but I get a bit nervous going up that first big hill, right? Don’t we all?  I mean, it’s normal. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling nervous. I don’t want it to mean that I distrust God or His will. Because I DO trust him. I totally KNOW that things will be fine. I really do. But, I still get an upset tummy thinking about all of it.   Now, I am ultimately calmed by God.  Not just my husband. But, in the moment that we are having a serious discussion, I sometimes get stressed and need for Mark to reach over, hold my hand, and look at me with those eyes of his, and say, “It’s going to be ok. I’ll take of you.”  In my private moment I rely on God to do this.

I am thankful to have such an amazing husband in my life. I am thankful that God still smiles down on me. I am nervous. But, I’m calmed.

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