Ok, thought I’d update quickly before I start the bedtime ritual and snuggle in to read for awhile. I had an immensely fulfilling day. I got so much done. I love that. Tomorrow will be hectic, but I should be able to work like crazy if I stay focused. I love that feeling of staying focused. I have the best days when I am productive.
I have kept journals my whole life – ok, not my whole life, but since I was in 5th grade. I occasionally read through them. Some time ago I started to notice re-occurring themes. One of those themes is the mention of productivity. I seem to be obsessed with being productive. When I have a day that I wasn’t productive – and these days do happen – I start to get all sad and depressed. When I have days like this I tend to be much more happy. I kind of link it all to my depression. When I do fall into a mood, I tend to do nothing. Then I know that something is wrong with me. But when my life is going well, I am busy, I am enjoying life, I am planning ahead, I am always thinking – not sitting. I can remember times in my life when I was in a state of depression and I did nothing for weeks. I don’t like that feeling. I hate it when I go there.
Things are super right now. I am very happy with everything. Ok, maybe a little more stressed than usual – I have undertaken a lot at work, but it’s good stress, not bad stress. There is a difference. It’s kind of what keeps me motivated throughout the day – the thought of completing something and jumping into the next thing. I kind of wish it was already tomorrow…
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